You’re about to turn two in two weeks, in fact I am writing this two days before my own birthday because yours comes exactly two weeks after mine. Two, two, two. The number two keeps propping up in everything lately as if to keep reminding me that I will soon have a two year old!
Since you came along, I tend to glance over my own birthday and I don’t mind that one bit. Mummy doesn’t really like to be reminded that she’s getting older but it’s different with you. I want time to stand still sometimes because I don’t want you to grow up too quickly. But when your birthday rolls around and it means we’ve had another fabulous (and tumultuous) full year with you it brings a huge beaming smile to my face.
I can’t remember my life before you. I mean I can because most of it is posted on social media and you can guarantee it’s all of the embarrassing moments! It was full of work, parties and 2 pm wake up times. And even though mummy moans about having a lie-in every once in a while, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Sometimes mummy’s have so much to fit in to one day that it all gets a bit too much for us and we cry. We always cry. But I want you to know that I love our days together. I love going on adventures with you, even if they’re just around our own living room or garden. Even when I nip to the shops, I always want to take you with me and I don’t think you’ll find many parents that would say that.
You see my darling, you are such a pleasure. You have your moments but so would anybody who is constantly learning and developing. I feel so lucky that you are so well behaved.
We were both born in July, and so was your beautiful Great-Nana who you are named after, which means our star signs are the same, Cancer. Lately I have seen so much of that star sign and your Great-Nana in you. You always want me near you, which can be draining sometimes but that’s because I want to give you all of me. You very rarely go too far without one of your family being close behind and Cancerians are all about family. You can be moody and cranky and over-dramatic, just like your mama (but shh don’t tell daddy I said that). You aren’t shy though, you’ll saunter up to any ol’ kid and point at them. You’re sure of yourself and what you want and mummy is proud of that.
You fascinate me and inspire me to be a better person because you’re so little and care-free and smart. You deserve the best of me and I always want to try and give you that. When that test had two pink lines, two years and 9 months ago, I tried to envision what my life would be like with a baby, a toddler, a child. Yes, the sleepless nights, the poo explosions, the teething, the colic, the reflux, they were all physically and mentally exhausting. But I couldn’t even begin to imagine the immense amount of love I have for you. I don’t think anyone can unless they become a mother, even mothers can’t explain it. You just feel it.
I have a feeling the “terrible twos” might hit once your birthday comes and goes so I want to take these two weeks to soak up your sweetness. I feel incredibly lucky that you are mine. You have made these past two years the best of my life by just simply being in it.
I love you.